Looking Back

©StudioDeeba 2012

I am sitting in bed, relaxed and day-dreaming about my final days in Jakarta, Indonesia...I remember my assistant was turning on and off a water faucet (the angel). I asked him what he was doing and he said he didn't have running water and most definitely not one as beautiful as this. He told me that his village has a communal water well and bathroom.  I wish this young man has a chance to see the rest of the world and experience as many water faucets as possible. Then again, maybe he finds peace and beauty in not having them...Maybe I am projecting my reality onto his and that is, well, not my intention.


And so these are the types of thoughts I have as I remember moments in Indonesia. Thinking about my final few days I wonder how I did it....

I miss the painters!
©StudioDeeba 2012

It was the weekend after I was scheduled to return to America and I was still working in Indonesia. I could hardly think while working and was going to have lunch with two colleagues. You see I had an infection in my lungs and had caught a fever that was raging through my system. But in Indonesia, everyone works until they just can't and I had an objective: To leave the country. I had been gone for over six months and was  now doubtful I would ever leave. My departure was delayed for several reasons and being ill was the most important one. I had to get better before I spent the grueling 24 hours of traveling to get back to my homeland.

Lunch Time!  ©StudioDeeba 2012

We went to a mall and each picked up the meal of their choice, met back at a table and sat down. These two women had become my friends and at times my adversaries. We were working under stressful conditions driven by the needs of one person we all had in common, the home owner. Through the thick and thin of it, however, we remained friends.

Fi Fang teaching me how
to eat the Indonesian Way!
©StudioDeeba 2012

One thing I've learned about Asia which doesn't seem so prevalent in America is the subtleness of a hidden agenda. It's an art here. And the more skilled one is with the art of deception, the more difficult it is to get to truth on any matter. I'm so used to being an upfront, giving and honest person that to exist in a world of smoke and mirrors is actually stressful for me. What we see as honorable in America is seen as a weakness in Asia. I'm talking about business, of course. And I recognize that this is a general statement, however very applicable in my experiences.

The Best Baristas!  ©StudioDeeba 2012

Negotiations were heavy...these girls really tried to pressure me to stay.  But having gained a new understanding (give an inch and a mile is taken), I held fast to leaving the country and within a few days I was on my way home, working up until an hour and half before departure. If I would have given in to stay even a few days more it would have wound up being weeks.  Once I got to America, I was screened by security because I was so ill. It took awhile but I got through and my friend Amanda was waiting outside the doors of LAX's International Airport.  I had made it home.  It took several weeks for me to recover but now I am completely healthy. Yay! :)

Coming home - me on the plane
©StudioDeeba 2012

Dinner with Friends
©StudioDeeba 2012

Indah! ©StudioDeeba 2012

I had stopped writing for quite some time because I had been warned by a colleague that I was very brave to put my feelings and thoughts in writing. That many people who do this would go "missing in the jungles." I didn't think much about what he said (believing it to be sensational) until I was reading the paper one morning while my driver took me to the project and learned that a young man had been arrested for publishing he religious beliefs on Facebook. And, I had been rushed at a cash machine as well, so this was enough for me. I stopped writing. Unable to sort out my feelings and thoughts and actually being afraid to express them. I had not realized just how wonderful the Freedom of Speech is that we have in America.

Peace! Iden and Ibu Deeba
©StudioDeeba 2012

©StudioDeeba 2012

©StudioDeeba 2012

©StudioDeeba 2012

I am a different person because of this experience. I am more centered and more confident in my business practice and at the same time realize my fortune. The friends and family I have here in my country are amazing. The friends I have made in Indonesia like Riko and Tony, Maria and Fi Fang are memorable. Riko reached out to me and gave me assistance when I thought I was going to go crazy from not having anyone to relate to. He took me places and helped me to experience Puncak and other sites within Jakarta. I shall never forget his incredible kindness and generosity. We had fun experimenting and creating new techniques in his shop. My assistant, Iden, helped me and embraced my energy and experience, learning as much as he could. I will never forget this young man and his kind heart....Maria and Fi Fang were patient and helpful, and were just there when I needed to get out and eat, shop or talk. :) And my driver Ghofir helped me to feel safe each day as he chauffeured me here and there around the city.  Both Iden and Ghofir helped me to learn Javanese and I helped them with their English.  It was fun.  :)

I wish them all well and hope that they experience great love, friendship and success in their lives as they make their way in the land of The Javanese. :)

©StudioDeeba 2012

©StudioDeeba 2012

My hope for Indonesia runs deep. I cannot put into words all I feel.  This is a country that can move in the direction of positive light and success as its Indigenous peoples experience their Independence to its fullest potential. There is so much opportunity if one just looks for it and applies themselves. What I love about the people is their ability to persevere and retain their nationality in the face of change. There is much going on in this country and it is my hope that it matures as a land of opportunity for change, maintaining an attitude of open hearts and universal acceptance of all peoples, for and by all peoples.

Gratitude ©StudioDeeba 2012

I am hopeful for this.
I miss my new friends.
I am happy to be home.
I am grateful for my fortune and the love I experience every day.
I know my spirit is greater because of this experience.



I hope that I helped to bring happiness to those who gave it to me while in Indonesia.

©2012 Studio Deeba painted for Iden