Courage

Courage. An interesting word. Full of charge. Strong and bold. Actually, I'm courageous each day as I exist in the world of surgery modified bodies and anorexic/bulimic individuals. You see, I'm curvy. Round. Chubby, I guess. I'm short. That's the deal. I look wider than I am. Oh, but there I go, justifying what is a natural way of being. Well, it takes courage to be a live Ruben painting.

I would hear all the skinny girls' theories of what to eat, what not to eat, the latest, greatest exercise or combination thereof. For the last year or two, I would bring up the subject so as to avoid hearing it come from them. Oh, but the experts on skinniness would wait for a word or a morsel of food I was ready to consume and then begin with the diatribe. All the while knowing they are on a race with the clock and wrinkles and bulges, themselves.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm pretty. I have beauty inside and out. My heart goes out to those who aren't or don't believe they are. But I'll tell you, I have been working on not paying attention to my tummy or backside as I move through the actions of the day...as a size 12.

There, I said it. Size 12. Can you believe it? At 49 years of age, I am worried about being a size 12? From now on, I am all about being courageous, walking on the beach or by the pool, for all to see what an honestly beautiful menopausal woman can be like.

For too long, women have abused and neglected their natural way of being and it has confused our men. It's confused us. We have little girls looking like their moms. Or is it that their moms are looking like them? We chastise men for dating younger women and yet we cave in with appeasement, surgeries and youthful clothes. Sending mixed signals. It's actually quite pathetic. I know a woman in Minneapolis who is in her forties is so proud of the fact that she shared her 13 year old daughters clothes. I looked at her and saw her joy. Wondered what went wrong for her to want to become a child again. Here's to courage! Here's to being yourself! Here's to being perfect in every way, without edit. Let the true beauty shine through!