MY FIFTIETH

MY FRIEND, ANGELA, WHO LIVES IN SAN ELIJO...A PLANNED COMMUNITY...DECIDED TO HONOR ME...FOR MY FIFTIETH.  GOD BLESS HER!

As most of you know, I was trying to figure out how to spend my big "five-0" by myself.  After being stood up for xmas, I wasn't sure what I was going to do for my birthday.

I have the most amazing friend.  Angela and her family, The Travinos.  They had not only invited me into their christmas celebration, they then honored me on my birthday.

I walked up to Angela's and Thor's (her hubby)house and entered through the side door.  Much to my wonderful surprise, their dog (one of two), Marly, greeted me with licks and leeps and such a great desire to be the first for my affection that I couldn't even pass the threshold.

IT WAS WONDERFUL!  Balloons and signs (made by beautiful Brooklyn who is all of the age of seven but acts like she's twenty-one).  Thor, ever the great host, had wine in hand and before I knew it, so did I.  Angela's family began showing up and we were in full-swing of a mighty fine fiftieth celebration!  I'm pictured here holding her newbie daughter, London.  Awww!  Can you tell it's been awhile since holding a newborn for me?   The kid was great, I was a nervous wreck!  Okay, someone else's turn!  Oh but she is precious.

The cake, OMG!, the cake.  Chocolate Cake Lovers from around the world covet this cake:  The Red Velvet!  mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  And my gift?  Well, it was most special.  A coach purse.  Black and beautiful.  I love my bag!

Well, needless to say, it was a great evening with laughter and music and celebration in the air.  What better way to acknowledge one's life?

Thank you Angela, Thor, and The Travino family!

Neglect

I have neglected one of my dearest passions....writing...painting is one of the others.  sooooo many.  This is my challenge.  To write.  About my experiences.  anyone who knows me, knows they are many, they are frequent, AND they are worth my writing about them.  i get it!  I hear you!  I write on!  LOVE YOU. MY BEAUTIFUL FANS.

The Magic of Creativity

There's nothing like it in the world!  The magic that occurs when friends congregate to create.

This last Saturday, the doors of my studio/cottage (my home) were opened to friends with the invitation of participating in a day of creativity.  "Bring your projects or just come prepared to make something!" were my instructions.

A cold, blustery day, I wasn't expecting much of a turnout.  But, the misty and windy afternoon didn't seem to dampen our spirits.  In my tiny little studio/cottage, all of about 600 square feet, were several artists, teachers and creative spirits, working hard at making beauty.

With holiday music in the air, Wassail cooking on my hot plate in the kitchenette and hors d'ouvres on my hand-painted coffee table (reflecting the image of the birth of Venus), the makings for magic were in place.  We laughed, sipped, ate and created.  After the wassail was gone, we enjoyed a beautiful glass of Cabernet while working hard to finish our projects before the evening set in.

Silence, at times, would be broken by sparks of genius, ignited as someone breathed in air with the final solution to a conundrum in their project.  Glee expressed at the completion of another.  Ideas were shared, beads were shared and most of all, encouragement and appreciation were had by all.  It was magic.  It was enchanting.  It was creativity at its best.

Sharing was key.  "I need pearls for eggs in the nest we're making over here," I said.  "No problem!" offered Sandy,  and Regina, at the same time said, "I have some!"  Arms were moving and people bustling around to accommodate the need at hand. "Goddesses" was the term Maya used in reference to us all gathered together.  Goddesses were in my cottage!  We were what creativity was all about.  There was no competition, no grasping for ideas.  We just tapped in and turned on.  It was pure.  It was fun.  It was loving.

I am blessed to have these friends of mine:  Sandy (Artist and teacher extraordinaire- working with such peace and confidence)  nude drawings; Regina (Her shy and beautiful face bent over the most wonderful necklace) - Exceptional Jewelry Designer; Maya (Expressive and Gorgeous Painter) - Surrealistic Painter; Angela (Beautiful Angela, soon to be mother of two) sat and experienced the energy in the room as she watched her just as beautiful daughter, Brooklyn, fit right in with The Goddesses, decorating a bottle and making drawings that would melt your heart, right away.  And with the promise of coming to the next event, my awesome friend, Chase and her Mother, also my friend, Amy, stopped by just to get a peak at what was being concocted behind my studio doors.  :)

Great fun was had for all and I can't wait to do it again!  ...just need some time to recuperate...perhaps this spring!  :)

Walking the Path of Gratitude

O-ma-gosh! I've been busy. :) And grateful. :) Work is abundant for me right now and I am so happy. Recently, my mother went back into the hospital but was out the following day. Pleurisy was what showed up on some tests and then the next day - all was clear. She's a freaking, walking miracle and I am so grateful for that. Home now, mam'ma is doing well.

I couldn't be happier for my friend/spiritual dad, Tony, who has the manuscript for his book sitting on the desk of a "somebody" who is in the business of making movies. It's such a thrill to know that he completed a "page turner" action/adventure book with a bit of a twist to it. Yay, Tony! And his beautiful wife and my dear, dear friend, Myrna, has successfully painted yet another beautiful painting. Her talent just amazes me. They had me over for Thanksgiving Holiday and we had a wonderful time.

This time of year just pulls it out of me. Creativity, love, laughter and joy. I feel like it all radiates out beyond myself and I am both touched and inspired by those around me.

My clientele has changed a bit from the people who want perfection but aren't willing to pay for it to the people who understand what art and craftsmanship is about. Attached are a few photos of some successful projects that are a result of this understanding. I am so relieved to have these clients in my life right now because, instead of managing control issues and fears, I can stay focused on what I do best, which is bringing the beauty forward, honoring the client's vision. :)

And so, I am walking my path with all these thoughts of gratitude in my heart and a smile on my face.   I look at what I have and how I am blessed and I can't help but let it come forward...thank you...thank you...thank you, with each step, I say, "thank you."    :)

Signs and Messengers

As I sit down and think of what I wish to write, I am conscious of the fact that my mam'ma has been in surgery for quite a few hours. A quadruple bi-pass. SURPRISE! Who knew? Totally unexpected and urgent. I've yet to hear anything. 3500 miles away. Or is it 4200? Oh, the conundrums for the dyslexic.

Just an hour ago I engaged in my morning ritual of driving to my favorite coffee shop for a cup of breakfast tea. I wind through my neighborhood of Rancho Santa Fe. The roads are beautiful and serene. It is the perfect start to any day, including this one of such serious and sober thought and prayers for my mother. Upon my return, I received a sign from the Universe. "What?" you might ask. If you have a minute, keep reading and I will explain.

Long ago - like twenty years or so - I was seeing a psychologist - the reason doesn't matter for this story. I was asked, in the comfort of her office, if I could be a an animal, which one would I prefer to be. I said, "The Blue Heron or the White Crane." When asked to support my choice I said, "They're majestic, powerful and although able to fly, remain close to the ground, but just high enough not to be bothered." Gosh, I remember this so clearly. Says alot about me, doesn't it? Attached, to my family, but just far enough out of reach. Engaged in long-term relationships, but never fully committed. Hmmm....Run my own studio, but have no employees, have tons of friends, but they're all married and very involved in their own lives (I will have to reflect on this at a later time).

Anyway, I digress. Ever since that session, whenever there is impending change in my life or a milestone of achievement (change), the Blue Heron or the White Crane show up in my life. And I mean SHOW UP. For instance, once a white crane flew over the hood of my car as I was attempting entry to the freeway. Roughly 15-20 miles an hour. It hovered over my car for the length of the on-ramp and then some. I never increased my speed, but just slowed enough to have us remain in tandem as long as was possible. It was incredibly beautiful and meaningful. You see, it was the day I lost my job at Modern Postcard. Change.

Another time, I was driving down a Carlsbad street only to have to come to a full stop, put on my blinkers and direct traffic around a grey heron, standing in the middle of the road. Taller than myself. It waited for me as I directed traffic around our situation. And then we walked to the curb. It hopped up, and I stepped up (my arms wide and in the air). Calm and in sync. No fear. Just one creature helping another. I gently walked my friend onto the grassy hillside overlooking the Batiquitos Lagoon where it slowly picked its way to the edge overlooking the water and quietly, ever so quietly and naturally, took flight. Sinking low over the water and the grasses. Mystical, really. I felt blessed. This was the day that I had won the bid for my first faux painting job, which set the pace for an 8 year career.

Another? Yes, I have more. Many more. All marking change and growth. These majestic birds flying next to my car or in front of my car or showing up in the river beds (which in California look like creeks with reeds and tall grasses instead of running waters) next to me as I walk. Fear is never a part of the experience, and they are so very close to me - usually within a foot.

This morning upon my return home, driving down the winding little roads, I went around a curve at about 20 miles an hour and there, heading straight for me was a blue heron. HUGE, blue heron. And just when I thought it was going to hit the windshield of my car, it veered off to my left, exposing its belly and legs all cranked up underneath. Grace was involved in this meneuver. 45 degree angle, for sure. It landed on a branch in one of the huge eucalyptus trees that shade the riverbed. I couldn't help but think it, too, had gone home after its morning ritual. As this friend and I were making our connection, the song playing on the radio was, "Closing Time" by Semisonic. I pulled over and took note.

I can't help but wonder what the message/sign is from my spiritual friend. What the change is. Will my mom be okay? Is she still going to hang around for awhile and fill the rooms of her home with her magnificent presence? I would miss her so much if it were her time to close up and leave. Then again, maybe I'm being told all is well, she came through it just fine and life will change a bit. Perhaps in healthier choices and ways of being. My mother has this innate ability to influence and bring anyone along for the ride of her life. She is powerful, opinionated (sure. who isn't at 69?) and strong. I think these qualities are incredible ones to have and are an asset, increasing her beauty.

I sit a little taller when I think of my mom. Stand stronger. I embody her when I need to stand up for myself or cross confrontation. I think to myself, "WWJD - What Would Jackie Do?" And then proceed. I am me, because of her. Gratitude rings through my heart...even for the arguments and the moments of painful truth...who better to deliver than one's mother? Never. And I mean, never, have I questioned her love for me.

Here's to my mom, may she be okay, and come out of surgery with the opportunity to extend her exciting life. And here's to my friendly, soulful birds. My messengers of change...thanks for keeping in touch. And here's to my sisters, we'd better stick to the wagon of better health 'cause I want you to hang around for a long time! Love you all. Deeba.

Walking the path of creativity

Last weekend I woke up early, packed up my chalk, a pillow, a flat dolly and water and drove to the annual sidewalk chalk art event in Carlsbad, CA, known as ArtSplash.

As I made my way down the long street, Armada Drive, by LegoLand, I remembered that last year I had vowed not to participate again. Hard on the body. Two days of glaring sun. Sitting on hot tar. Creating a three dimensional image with accurate perspective while crawling around the square (or scooting around on a dolly). Tough on the back, the hands and knees.

However, this year, I walked with a bit of excitement in my stride. I hadn't made up my mind on what I was to paint (in chalk). I was going back and forth between several designs, but felt I wanted to do it in black and white (I was the only artist who didn't use color). I asked for a small square this year 5'x2.5'. Last year: 8'x8'....too much for one little artist. As I sifted through the crowd already gathering, I made my way to the registration tent. The excitement started to grow from within. I could feel a certain amount of confidence (my fifth year) and joy about being out with hundreds of people, sharing the experience of art and creativity.

I spoke to would-be artists, parents, kids, anyone who stopped by to view my work. People would stand for minutes at a time, as if entranced by the magic transpiring on the street. Talented artists laid chalk to tar in an effort to create life-like images. Successful with their endeavors, the artists continued with pride and confidence. And for some, amazement at their own achievement. Colored dust gently danced across the surface as artisans blew and rubbed their chalk pastels into masterpieces for the endless parade of families to experience.

Joy, laughter and conversation rose up over the crowd and carried east on the ocean breeze from the west coastline. Every now and then I would have to stand, sip some water, brush my hair out of my face and chalk from my cheeks. It would be at this time that I would look west over the flower fields to the water - so bright - so blue - and thank the Universe for the experience of sharing my gifts, my talent. These are hard times for everyone (myself included) and to take two days out of the stress of managing affairs, just two days to create something for others, well, it makes everything else worth enduring.

As people stopped to talk about the piece I was drawing, I would share the importance of the program, their participation and the excitement of fund-raising for such a worthy cause. It was a way to say thanks for coming out and supporting this endeavor. Funds were also raised through silent auctions. I created a hand painted clock this year that was auctioned off for about $120. Yay! Three birds with instruments on their way to play. Many beautiful clocks, skim boards and painted chairs brought in lots of money! And those who won the bids walked away with affordable, original artwork, forever marking an annual event for their community and for the arts.

And such talent! Young artists, old artists, quiet and bold. Designs of such beauty! Tradition is to honor The Masters, but some break out and reveal creations of great invention and intriguing perspective. Each artist experiencing the pressure, the beautiful pressure, of performing before an audience. Of working out one's psyche - the battle - the tug and pull of perspective and proportion - and the surrender, eventually finding the sweet spot of allowing the artwork to just happen. It's an incredible dance between the artist, the image and the audience viewing, sometimes helping with advice, to get the artwork to be the best that it can be.

At 3:00 pm Sunday afternoon, I packed up my stuff, said goodnight to the spirit of ArtSlplash and limped to my car with a smile on my chalked-up face, a joy in my big heart. I could already hear next year calling me. With each step I released my image, knowing that everything was to be washed off the pavement by early morning light. Just in time for the cars to roll down Carlsbad's beautiful Armada Drive. It gave me a strange sense of release, perhaps only an artist can relate to....

Yup, I'll be back. To do it all over again. I wonder what image I will conjure up for next year's event.:)

Monkey Business

Recently, I spoke to an old boyfriend who is becoming a new "guy"friend. Well he has this saying, "It's all a bunch of monkey business." His phrase when exasperated or trying to calm down his kids: "Stop that monkey business!"

I've started using the phrase. Much to my surprise. I use it when describing the rules we make for ourselves. For instance, I'm just not so sure about all this "monkey business" with religion, politics, workplace. Sit down, stand up, pray for this, don't ask for that. Oh, you have to behave this or that way to get accepted. Chant this way, worship that way. The actions of our politicians discussing our health care issues, pushing through bills. Scandalous monkey business.

Just a bunch of monkey business. War: Monkey business. Hate: Monkey business. Anger: Monkey Business. Aggressive defense: Monkey business. Intentional suffering and pain: Monkey Business. Greed: Monkey Business.

I can keep going but am bored with all this ... monkey business. oy!