Saturday, December 10, 2011

Jakarta: Land of Extremes

Looking out over Jakarta from a shopping mall -
©2011 Studio Deeba

I look around this vast city and I must say it is easy to see everything in opposition. The wealthy build their estates next door to the poorest of poor; They will pay thousands to install a chandelier but haggle over a two dollar variance in the installation fee; a family sleeps out in the open on the curb next to fast moving traffic and in front of a large home; the young cannot afford shoes, but they own cell phones; Coffee shops aren't open early in the morning but instead are open until late hours of night. There are so many poor people that this has been, and still is, the norm for Jakarta.

The contradictions are interesting:
An old shed with new crates of
Coke, Pepsi and yummy Guinness,
The Old man walking with a cane versus
the current mode of transportation for the younger generation.
©2011 Studio Deeba

My first impression was to believe this observation extremes was unique unto Jakarta, but after further contemplation, I know it's the same anywhere else in the world. In Chicago, Paris, New York, LA, Egypt, or in any community, you can see something similar, it's just not as obvious or perhaps as extreme.

What can I do about the poverty? How can I help? I think it happens in small ways. I feel it is my responsibility to improve my life, my surroundings and my communities. To protect and help those who cannot do for themselves (I mean REALLY can't do for themselves). And to do it with no other agenda attached. To live by example which, I have learned, is harder than the words describe.

Vendors camp outside the front gates to homes
Here, thee security for the home is drinking
coffee ©2011 Studio Deeba

Prior to my arrival in Jakarta, I was supported through the kind and generous actions of my friends and family. In return, I have tried to pass the giving on - pay it forward - to those in need in Jakarta, and not with money. Sometimes it has involved listening to a colleague talk about the stress of the job, supporting a friend who quietly cried over the loss of her son to cancer several years ago, or encouraging the hopes of another through action, like training my assistant, Iden, to become a decorative painter.

Jakarta is growing and its promise of a better way of living is on the horizon. Pride and good work ethic are fast becoming the way of being for this society. Construction is everywhere and the people of Indonesia are beginning to realize their independence. Forty years ago they fought for Independence from the Dutch and won. It's this determination that will help them continue to grow into their newly found freedom. Forty years is nothing when we think of the opportunity for a better way of life. They've also had recent struggles against those they might believe to be their foe but may turn out to be their best allies; the Chinese and Japanese who bring much opportunity (along with control) and money to this land.

A peaceful Vendor providing for his family
©2011 Studio Deeba

The headlines of Friday's paper said that Random Murders were on the rise and that theft is increasing. The poor are getting more and more angry as they look at the development of their land and realize they don't have a "profitable" hand in it. Corruption in the government is everywhere, even though they are trying to eradicate it. And to make matters worse, there is a definite cast system here. Sound familiar?

This is not endemic to just Jakarta, but this sentiment is going around our world today. We have to realize we are all in this together and begin to see those who have "something" are not always better off. We must look within and be the best that we can be and quit looking at the next person and wanting what they have or feeling "less than" because we don't have it.

A woman beautifully dressed,
picking up twigs in the rain forest for a fire
©2011 Studio Deeba

But! As in the rest of the world, in Jakarta, the beautiful people who work hard to provide for their families. Only they do it with a smile. I have never experienced such a desire for happiness as I have here in Jakarta. This is beautiful. I can always just walk around outside or in the mall and people are so friendly. It's a good foundation to build upon.

If we want to effect humanitarian change, why not within ourselves first? Quit pointing fingers and just get on with being the best persons we can be. Take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming others. We need to have the courage to say "I am responsible." We need to take action for not only our betterment, but for that of our fellow man - no strings attached (i.e. getting religion involved or political agendas supported). Get involved to effect change, not just complain about it or use it as a reason to riot. Move into the arena and participate. Become a politician if you believe politics are not going in the right direction. Pick up litter if you see it. Provide shelter for a friend in need. Help someone cross the street...you get it. And, we need to see beauty in the least beautiful of places (it could be within our own heart) and support it to grow.

Change can begin within myself and then move outward not for any other reason than it is good and the right action.

Just a thought I had while being driven to work one day. hmmmmmmm.....

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Magic of Wood-graining

Some of you have wondered what I've been up to so I thought I would post pictures of some of my work:

To begin I painted the door a pink color and then proceeded to work with stains and sealer to achieve the look of wood, working from the innermost part of a door and then out from there.

Final result. ©Studio Deeba 2011

Sample of stone above to real stone below. Lost the bid because the sample was slightly darker...Easy change, but I lost it on this technicality.

Right now I am finishing work on the detail of another ceiling. I probably have enough work for about 20 more days in Jakarta and then it is on to Minneapolis for the christmas Holiday. I had hoped to see Bali but am not sure if I can. So maybe a trip to Jobja will suffice. :) Later my friends.

Walking the Path

The last two weeks have been quite the challenge for me here in Jakarta. I've experienced loss and have actually been dazed by it. I've lost the friendship of a colleague and half the revenue in my contract. What does one do when they've been hoodwinked, set up for failure and betrayed, and it's all done with a smile, hug and pat on the back?

The answer is difficult to carry out...but once tried, it becomes easier: Find compassion, forgive, walk away, but never forget.

To find compassion, I recalled an experience I had with two friends of mine (a couple). My words came full force and broadsided not only me, but were very hurtful to my friends. I did not mean to do this but it happened. My intention was to provide support and insight, instead it was just seen as betrayal and criticism. I worked hard through apology and good acts to make right such a terrible wrong - which I don't think will ever be made right.

Remembering this situation helped me find my compassion. Now, how to forgive? Easy, just release it. Don't own or incorporate the incidents that happened, don't accept. Just walk the path of light and love. Release. Let go and all the situations fall away.

Walk away. Don't incorporate any further actions with the perpetrator. Understand they are who they are and where they are on their path and it has nothing to do with anyone other than themselves. Don't own their monkeys (One Minute Manager advice).

Never forget: Understand these experiences are just that. Experiences. Protect one's self from it happening again and then move on. See the red flags and act with dignity. Turn the other way, head held high and know you have walked the Path of light and love and not deceit and betrayal.

And, although I don't do this often, I would like to add: As the Bible says, "Greater is He within me than the forces in the world."
All will be okay. Now, How to turn Lemons into Lemonade......yum. :)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Tapping In and Turning On

About twelve years ago I was standing two feet in front of "Kid" Johnny Lang who was playing for a private party in Minneapolis. It was amazing. I saw this protege lose himself transcending into the music. Consequently, everyone in the room transcended "the self" and moved into the space of music that Johnny Lang was creating. It was a pivotal moment for me in my life as an artist. After twenty-five years in Corporate, I was getting up my nerve to paint and be an artist. The thought was just forming and I was beginning to understand how it worked through this experience. Needless to say, I was effected deeply and well, the bug of creativity bit me.

Throughout the last ten years of being an artist, I have discovered how to "tap in and turn on" much like Johnny...much like any artisan. What does this mean? I think it's the process of being empathic. Honing the ability to tap into energy other than the self, interpret it and then express. I think once this technique is acquired, then tapping into the self can also be done. To have the ability to absorb, pull inside, Interpret, and then express is rather mesmerizing. It can be quite an intentional process or one of great abandonment.

You know alot of people say artists are so emotional. It's not true. We are able to feel the emotions in the air or the way something effects us - or you - or civilization, in such a raw and visceral manner. We are able to feel...So many people spend their lives trying to get in touch with their feelings. I'm not only in touch with my feelings, I'm in touch with the vibe in a room, the emotions and feelings with the person next to me on the bus or the person 20 feet away who is looking at and experiencing me transcending the self and expressing art. Everything influences me and comes through my brush.

I've often thought the talent of an artist isn't really that they can "draw" or "paint," "dance," "sculpt," "write," or "sing," but that they can be open to "tapping in and turning on." Wether that's through the brush, the hands, the voice. You get the idea?

The next time you experience the arts, try to trust, let go of yourself and totally get lost in the experience. Just allow yourself to be in the moment of transcending the self.

THANK YOU JOHNNY LANG! Check him out:http://www.last.fm/music/Jonny+Lang/+videos/+1-9gTXBfAYJfo

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What brought me to Jakarta?

Standing on the covered balcony to my clients' Screening Room, I watched the much needed rain fall onto the grand driveway below. It doesn't matter where you are, rain smells the same. Taking a moment to relax I thought about what brought me to Indonesia. Was it the Interior Designer who recommended me for the job? Was it a deep down desire to travel that manifested into an opportunity to work? Or, am I fulfilling some karma-driven objective from a past life? As a butterfly flew past my nose I thought perhaps the true reason had to do with the act of giving.

Iden prepping the surface of
a door before I turn it into wood! :)

My Patron gave me the opportunity to do work for her. As well, she and her husband are giving hundreds of Jakartans the same opportunity. The estate is beautiful and it is because of their vision and the expertise of those they employ that make it so.

I thought about how I then proceeded to pass on their act of giving by teaching my helper, Iden (Eden), and giving him the opportunity to be my apprentice. In return, he will then be able to give back to my client when I leave by being able to do touch ups and repairs to any of the work we've created. What a beautiful circle. And it is through open hearts that this happened.

Upon my arrival, I went directly to the job site. It was what I wanted to do. Get the lay of the land, and then go crash at my hotel. As I met everyone, I was introduced to Iden (about 19) and told he would be my helper. He would get my water, sweep up, possibly paint. I was surprised and relieved. I didn't even know the word for water in Indonesian (air - pronounced as "ire").

My first time creating burl-wood,
professionally ©Studio Deeba 2011

Iden soon became my assistant and then became my apprentice. He showed initiative and interest in what I was doing. One day, I saw him looking at the way I was moving the stain across the door. He wasn't just interested in the "trick" of faux-bouis (wood-graining) but actually in the technique. Hmmmmmmmm.....

As I worked that day, the wheels started to turn in my head and my heart. I was learning about the poverty of Jakarta as I worked in this huge estate. Now some people might want to approach this dichotomy with a sarcastic or judgmental thought, but I saw how my patrons were part of the community's survival. Everyone helping the next person.

Iden, rolling a coat of sealer onto the door

And so Iden has started a career in decorative painting. He is most willing to learn and most eager to do a good job. He "gets it;" this can be a way for him to earn an income, to provide for himself and a family one day. I am so happy that this opportunity presented itself and that we could all experience such a wonderful way of giving that comes full circle. It is a win-win, all the way around!

me in front of my work, mahogany burl-wood doors
©2011 Studio Deeba

Soon the rain stopped, I turned around, brush in-hand, and thought, this is the way life should work and I'm so happy to experience it. This is why I came to Jakarta!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Indah

"Inda. Inda," the young girl was touching my hair as her friends gathered around me. They were so happy and excited to be next to me. Holding my hands, stroking my arms and touching my hair, pointing at my eyes.

My Sunday began with a trip to the Museum Wayan (Doll/Puppet Museum) in Jakarta. My Driver picked me up at 10:00 a.m. and we started our journey trekking through the winding streets from one end of town to the other; quite the drive. After about an hour, we found the museum and parked. Ghofir (go-fear) opened my door and the minute my feet touched the ground, I was being watched.

The large plaza was packed with people trying to cool themselves in the hot sun (96 degrees). As we made our way around the vendors and their wagons, blankets and items, across the open space to the door of the museum, I was grateful for having a dress on and not the heavy weight of jeans.

Ghofir was clearing a path for me to walk (every inch of space is occupied) while I thought about what defines Inda. Looking at all the beautiful dolls and puppets made to represent Indonesia's ancient Javanese, I was moved beyond words. The delicate features that are fringed with long black lashes and beautiful black hair braided and twined around crowns and combs, batiked (hand-painted lost-wax and dye) clothing with the most intricate of designs. I was in awe. These puppets and dolls are made from wood, animal skin and bone. All hand carved centuries ago. What appeared to be a paper doll puppet, was actually hand-tooled leather...no lazer cuts here, just pure craftsmanship and attention to detail. Magical, to say the least.

Looking at these ancient dolls, I thought of how I have struggled with my physical beauty for the last decade; going from 40 to 50 in a heartbeat while seeing skin move and wrinkles appear where there were none before. I have wondered what defines beauty. Inside? Outside? I believe both. Is it attitude and if so, what type? Is it what the majority doesn't have? Or is it the best of the majority? And who defines that? Can mannerisms define a person's beauty? Sometimes. Confidence, definitely. Nothing sexier to me than a man who's comfortable in his own skin. :) yum.

I see the beauty of others in even the tiniest ways and yet with myself, well....it's been difficult. Don't get me wrong, I love me. I love everything about me. I just don't see me as I see others. We're probably all like this, right? Well, this last year I have been accepting my body's changes as it moves through the aging process. However, as a single woman in the dating world, it has been daunting as most men from 50 years of age to 60, can go after women half my age and do, successfully!

A night out on the town in San Diego, I am overlooked frequently. In Indonesia, I am constantly being told Indah! Indah!~

Ha! What an experience to have as I enter into my fifth decade of life. I shall never forget this experience as long as I live. What a wonderful gift! Okay Universe! I have spent the last year accepting my physical self as I change, Now I Will Celebrate Myself! I now believe! I am Inda!

As we made our way through the museum, I asked one group of girls who so desperately wanted to photograph me, if they would be so kind as to be in a photo for me. They were thrilled! What Fun! And don't you agree? We truly are, all Indah....even in 96 degrees of ugh! :)

Monday, October 3, 2011

Remembering Grandpa Sundeen

When I was a young teenager, my family went "up North" to spend weekends with our family friends, The Franzens, at their parents' cabin / home. It was so cool. On a big piece of property, they were situated at the edge of Little Stone Lake, north of Two Harbors and west of Lake Superior. There was a sauna down by the dock and a bunk house up the hill from the cabin.

The kids (and there were plenty of us) were sent to the bunk house at night and the adults had the cabin. It was really great. At that age, to sleep in a different building than my parents was just, "too cool." The bunk house had an old Victrola record player along with plenty of records. And it still worked. Tons of comic books from the 50's and 60's, a pot bellied stove and many bunk beds lining the walls. The musty smell, combined with wet wool (our mittens and scarves), burning birch logs in the stove and freshly showered kids still comes to mind.

The times up at the cabin were magical, life affirming and life changing...for everyone who came to stay. One year (I think it was 1974 or '75), we were "snowed in." The winter's worse storm hit while we were at Grandma and Grandpa Sundeen's, sleeping in the bunk house and dreaming big dreams of adventure, thanks to the comic books. I remember the snow was banked higher than the windows; we had to dig our way out. Banks and banks of snow covered the lake.

The only way to civilization, which in that neck of the woods (litteraly), was the country store, an hour or so down the main road (one of which grandpa built) which was a mile or so down the driveway! So the kids and moms stayed tucked inside and the men took the snowmobiles, two to a sled. Along the railroad tracks. They knew these led them to the WhistleStop in Brimson where rations could be purchased and contact made with the outside world.

Later that week, we all got out on the snowmobiles and at one point I remember we stopped along the tracks (the only place to ride where the snowmobiles wouldn't sink into the powder) to look at two tall, and I mean tall, wolves sitting with a kill - deer - between them and the black and white birch trees behind them. They were about 100 yards away...beautiful and eerie...all at the same time.

Eventually roads were cleared and we were on our way home and stopped out on the peninsula of Lake Superior and went over to the Maritime Museum and discovered it had closed and so we began exploring. There was a motel where all the windows were smashed on the side facing the lake due to the storm. How bizarre. We climbed frozen waves that were at least 10 -12 feet high along Lake Superior. Yeah. Insane. Life back then was so complicatedly simple. My parents and their friends were living life large and we road their coat-tails. It was great fun for all!

There was another time in the summer when we were all taking turns in the sauna early in the evening, and all the girls decided to dance down by the lake, bare naked in the moonlight. My mother remembers it well, "You girls were little... and we adults were just sitting in the kitchen talking when we caught a glimpse of you running around outside and it was dark so all we saw were those little white butts running around!" Wow! That was fun. running around after baking in the steam of a wood-burning sauna. WOW! What memories. And these are just highlights. Not to mention the berry picking with grandma, the quiet moments of playing games or just sitting and drawing (for me). Stories of Grandpa being caught on the roof because a bear decided to knock down the ladder and squat. I think this is lore....Something I heard later in my life; stories recanted at my mom's kitchen table!

All great times in my teen years...times of laughter, tears and moments of becoming...becoming a teenager, becoming a young woman...becoming a friend to my mother and her best friend, my second mom, D.J. (Grandpa and Grandma Sundeen's daughter). Grandpa helped to forge the freeways, highways and bi-ways throughout the northern woods of Minnesota and The Dakotas. He was quite the maverick for his time. And Grandma was the quintessential Sweedish mother, wife and grandmother for her time. :) Loved her Ginger Snap cookies. :) yum. I think Mrs. Franzen made Krumkake Cookies, yum, yum, yum.

Grandma passed away quite a while ago, but just two days ago, Grandpa made his exit. They truly loved each other. :) hmmmmmm. The word that just keeps coming up in regard to Grandpa is "Gentleman." And that he was. I just remember his laugh. It was always a quiet one but it was full. A laugh that had meaning...which is in honor of his nordic ways of being. I also remember the jokes. A joke book in the john, (ha! haven't used that phrase for ....decades!), jokes at breakfast, jokes during the football games, jokes at dinner....always fun and laughter for all to be had.

Thank you Grandpa!

In memory of Grandpa Milton Sundeen, thank you for sharing your home, bunk house, and laughter with us little rug rats! You are forever a part of me.

I would like to list two of my favorite poems in memory of our loved ones who leave us for their next way of being:

Afternoon on a Hill

by Edna St. Vincent Milay

I will be the gladdest thing
   Under the sun!
I will touch a hundred flowers
   And not pick one.

I will look at cliffs and clouds
   With quiet eyes,
Watch the wind bow down the grass,
   And the grass rise.

And when lights begin to show
   Up from the town,
I will mark which must be mine,
   And then start down!

I have always thought this poem was about
moving from this world to the next, transcending
the existence of body and into the next way being.
:) It's such a dainty little poem, perhaps this one
would be better, one by Dr. Seuss comes to mind:

“How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon.

December is here before its June.

My goodness how the time has flewn.

How did it get so late so soon?”

Peace Out, Deeba in Jakarta

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Beep Beep!

"Beep-Beep" everyone gives little beeps to indicate their location.

I sit in the back of the small s.u.v., watching the chaos in front of my driver, fascinated at his calm and casual attitude toward the mayhem in front of him. Never really stopping, we move forward no matter what is in front of us, over to the sides of us or behind our vehicle, weaving in, out and around anything that is in our way. There are trucks, carts, trams, mopeds, dollies, busses and motorcycles as well as pedestrians and bicyclists all thrown together to make the most interesting traffic I have ever seen, and I've been to Jamaica!

We pull over to the side of the road and pick up a pedestrian who sits in the front seat along with the driver. We travel down the street for about a mile, turn right past the police station and right again and down in front of my hotel where the driver drops the passenger, after paying him a little bit of money and then up the ramp and I am delivered to the doors of my hotel. Slowly, I swallow my heart back into place, pick up my backpack and exit the vehicle thanking God I am alive for yet one more day. :)

This man is picked up at a certain spot where we found him holding his index finger out, indicating 1. We picked him up because the road we wanted to travel on is designated for 3 or more passengers only - during drive-time. Clever! I believe the U.S. has its own version of this out East for the toll roads.

Yesterday, I saw two young parents and a baby riding a motorcycle. The baby, couldn't have been more than a year old, was standing on mamma's knee (left leg) and she had her arm wrapped around him as they weaved through the traffic. Everyone seemed comfortable and natural about the whole thing. This is the norm here. OH MY GOSH! I will try to take a picture the next time I see it. :)

The traffic is a fascination for me because it is the most current example of just going with the flow. Reminding me to just relax, sit back and move with the flow of life. Allowing the energy to move me along..to release control. hmmmmmmmmmm.......

And so, who would ever think I would find harmony while in drive-time traffic on the streets of Jakarta? The Universe can present its lessons in such a funny way!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Journey to Jakarta

After being awake for 48 hours

I guess you could say my journey to Jakarta began back in June when I packed up my home to head out to this fascinating city. I stayed with friends over the course of three months prior to my departure (which was last Saturday night). I enjoyed time with the Vasquez family. Gracie and I got along famously! As a thank you, I antiqued their kitchen and bath cabinets and worked on clearing dead plants from the side and front yards. Good exercise. Then it was on to The House of Mings :) where I was allowed to just relax and play pool, and then on to The Crawfords where I experienced an electrical black out and someone hitting my parked car and taking off...damage was minimal. I woodgrained two sets of french doors as a thank you. Back to The House of Ming for more R&R and then finally, I went to The Duncans for two days of great fun, excellent food and drink while preparing for my departure. My friend Amanda kept me busy on the weekends as we had fun playing pool and finding bars that serve Guiness. :) My friend, Tim, came along on our last night out and it was a fun night for a send off!

When Saturday came, it was a long night of flying and then another day's worth. I fell in the Taipei airport and it was a gentle reminder that outside the U.S., the rest of the world is not safety-proofed and you have to really pay attention to where you step! Then it was on to Jakarta and to meet my client's assistant Fi Fang, who couldn't have been more accommodating.

My first impression was just how kind the Indonesian people are...and how crowded the city appeared to be. And the Traffic! The way the traffic moves is rather nerve racking, and yet very harmonic. No accidents, but everyones driving wherever they can fit, e.g., three cars in two lanes with motorcycles weaving around them. Very interesting...motorcycles and mopeds moving gracefully between the cars at all times....Chaotic and yet flowing. Well, I have to quickly run down and catch my breakfast before I start a day of work in this relentless heat....ugh.....:) Love to all! D.

Friday, June 3, 2011

As my journey begins....

Well, the last few weeks have been most interestingly not what I had expected! With tickets in-hand for Jakarta, I was packing up the last of my belongings and scheduling dinners with friends I wanted to see before departure. And it was at this time that I received notice of a delay in my trip. Yup. You can imagine my emotions. Here I was leaving my home behind in a storage facility only to hear, oops, we need to move your arrival date to August! Apparently my client had been misinformed about the progress on her estate, only to arrive and discover floors had not been installed, walls needed to be sanded and painted, and more. My heart went out to her as I have seen over and over again, how difficult it can be to build your own home. How you must rely on and trust the vendors and contractors who are bringing your vision to fruition. I take that responsibility very seriously and so, my heart went out to my client as I finished packing. I tried not to be too upset over my situation. I tried to be open to the opportunities that could be positive and happy for me.

Okay, so I went to dinner that night at my friends, The Paxtons, and was filling them in on the entire situation when they offered me their guest room. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Without hesitation or prompting on my part, these wonderful friends moved forward and offered me a port in the storm. Their kind and open hearts were just what I needed. It's amazing how my friends rallied to give me a home for two months. Whew! And Bob Paxton helped me finish my move. It's this kind of act that helps to balance the negative. These people are my heroes. They are angels.

My Banner for Arts Alive 2011

I spoke with the Interior Designer (Interspec) for this job in Jakarta and he said that I was fortunate not to have gone in June as the mansion (67,000 square feet!) was full of dust due to the sanding of the plastered walls and the weather was extremely hot and humid. He had fainted. I don't think I would have done well, what with going through menopause, and all.

And so my journey to Jakarta has begun with open hearts. My trying to keep an open and optimistic heart when in a crisis, my friends for so openly and without hesitation offering their guest room and my other friends like The Bonaccorsos and The Crawfords who are offering me a little bit of work right now to get me through the next two months.

Stay tuned!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Change is in the air

At the 2011 Banner unveiling for Arts Alive

It has been awhile since I posted. I had the great pleasure of working in the mansion of Robert Allen, author of several books, and assisting author and lovely friend, Tony Bonaccorso with the editing of his book, donating my time to Fresh Start Surgical Gifts by painting a mural for their lobby, painting a banner for the 101 Artists Colony's Arts Alive Project (whew!), AND working on a new series of drawings for paintings - over 150 designs. There have been moments of great fun in my little cottage with friends, raising the roof with laughter and stories, for sure. Experiences that define me with the confidence of knowing I am loved.

Ah, but the winter rains have brought change to my home and my art. Soon, within 30 days, I will be embarking on an adventure! One of my clients is sending me to Jakarta, Indonesia to create some beauty in her estate. It will be wonderful. There will be columns to marble, niches to gild and doors to wood-grain. As well, my landlords are putting their mansion on the market for sale and so I have been packing up my little cottage (which sits on the edge of their property) into storage and preparing for my journey to a land unknown for a couple of months.

Change. It represents growth. Growth is necessary but brings with it, loss. Loss, well, is a process of adjustments. Adjustments to our feelings by way of thinking. This is my entertainment at 3:00 in the morning when I wake up in a sweat and try to comfort myself that all will be well. In an effort to move into a 10'x10' storage locker, I have had to sell furniture that has meant so much to me. Experiencing the desire to hold on and yet knowing that if I let go, more will arrive. It's like breathing. Good air in, used air out. :)

As I prepare for this pending experience, I know it will be life-changing. Feel it to the depth of my bones. I know that upon my return, my entire way of being will be changed. And it is this thought that brings in an air of excitement and exhilaration. Moving toward the unknown allows us to release control and be the "Experiencer." It allows us to see, feel and think for the first time, again. To tap in and turn on without the filter of The Self (or ego). And this is what makes life, my life, so interesting.

Upon my return, I will walk with a renewed sense of purpose, ready to say "Yes!" to the opportunities that unfold before me. I look forward to finding a new home and creating the next series of paintings to show.

I promise to post photos of this exotic land, taking copious notes so that I can share. I invite you to tag along through my blog! It will be fun, I promise you.

And so my friends, my loved ones, here's to Change!

Now, where was that box with my sweaters? It's cold and rainy here and I have only the clothes I will wear in the hot and humid climate of the tropics! arg......

With love and joy, Deeba